I became a sex scholar because I didn’t like sex. I was frustrated and angry, unable to understand why something that’s supposed to feel good… just didn't.
Everyone around me seemed to be having the time of their lives—meanwhile, my body would shut down, my self-worth would vanish, and intimacy felt more like a performance than a homecoming.
I dealt with pelvic pain, patterns I couldn’t break, and confusing relationship dynamics—even though I was queer and had dated across the spectrum. No matter who I was with, something still felt off.
I wanted to love sex and feel loved during sex. I went to therapy. I saw doctors. I tried to fix myself. But nothing changed.
So I when I got to UC Berkeley, I become a sex scholar.
When I got to UC Berkeley, I gave myself permission to explore sex without judging myself.
I started with the safe stuff, like neuroscience, psychology, and history (you can't get triggered from a textbook!) Then I got braver. I dove into somatic body healing and spiritual sexuality. I even trained to be a Dominatrix when the opportunity presented itself.
I learned how to use pleasure to soothe my body, so that sex stopped feeling painful. I created a method that allowed me to pin point my sexual strengths so that I could honor my desires. And as a Dominatrix, I learned how to communicate with confidence so that my lovers respected me and cherished me.
But my biggest "ah-ha" moment was when I worked with my sexual subconscious. I realized that growing up in glamorous Los Angeles made me feel like an ugly duckling. Why would someone want me when they could date the model next door?
In order to protect myself, I subconsciously viewed sex as a transaction. If I gave someone sex, I hoped to get loyalty, acceptance, and validation in return.
The beautiful thing about education, healing, and empowerment is the awareness you get. Pain and trauma only controls your life when you are not aware of what's going on. Becoming a sex scholar truly changed my life and now I use my knowledge to teach you how to empower yourself.
There is so much misinformation about sex, it’s a wonder any of us are brave enough to cum together.
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Today, my desires make me feel secure and sex is nourishing. I communicate confidently about what I want and experience loving, respectful relationships. But the most beautiful part of my journey was realizing that I am not alone. We all struggle with sex, but the good news is, we can also heal sex.
My goal at Pleasure Science is to help you to learn how to heal and empower your life. Take a moment to imagine the version of you that feels nourished by sex and soothed by pleasure.
How does this person walk into a room?
How they do communicate?
How do they experience love?
Sex influences every area of the human experience, and you deserve to explore pleasure without feeling intimidated, shameful, or alone.
Thank you for being here. As you empower your sex life you become the change we want to see in the world.
Let's make sexual liberation the norm in a society that profits off of shame!