Welcome back to Pleasure Science, a podcast that makes sexual liberation your new normal by changing the way you love and feel loved. I'm Nadège, your friendly neighborhood sex scholar. And fun fact, not only do I spend my time researching sex and writing books, but I am also a sex and relationship coach.

 

What does that mean? Well, it means I work with people like you and I help you figure out how to have the best sex life and love life for you. One that reflects your values, your lifestyle, and your true desires, so that your dream love life becomes your everyday life. Think of sex coaching like therapy 2.0.

 

Therapy is an incredible way to process the emotional and formative moments in your life, while coaching is where you activate transformation.

 

And I bet you're now wondering, okay, well, how do I know which one is right for me? You'll know that therapy is the right choice for you if you need someone to talk to about your past so you can understand it and heal it. Therapy is all about healing through verbal processing, where you talk through your feelings in a safe space with a professional. I love therapy and I have a therapist myself. Shout out to you. 

 

Now, coaching is like therapy 2.0. You know you are ready for a coach when you want to take action. Like therapy, a coach is someone you can talk through your struggles with, but then you go one step deeper. You get real about the vision for how you want your life to look, and then you create an action plan to go out and make it happen. While a therapist is here to listen and process, a coach is here to push you to take action, and a coach will support you each step of the way. This isn't magic, though it can feel like it, and you will only get the results you want when you are committed and do the work. 

 

Now, a sex and relationship coach is someone who specializes in sexual healing, sexual empowerment, and relationships. For example, when I work with people who are single and dating, I show you how to actually enjoy casual sex without confusion or guilt or performing or second-guessing yourself, allowing you to actually enjoy the single life and your freedom while also being open to love and connection. You will become a magnet attracting all the right people to you.

 

And when I work with people in relationships, I show you how to keep sex alive so your love can stand the test of time. You become more confident and skilled, so you are able to communicate about anything, especially sex, and create chemistry that lasts.

 

I also specialize in non-monogamy and BDSM. For anyone listening to this podcast from season one, I bet that comes as no surprise. So sometimes I work with people who want to embody their dominant persona or feel empowered as a submissive or simply break into the BDSM scene. And other times I work with couples who want to explore non-monogamy with peace and power and purpose. Because you should decide into your relationship. You shouldn't slide into the relationship you were told to create.

 

Whatever is going on in your sex and love life, you should work with someone like me when you are ready to go beyond talking and start taking action. And helping people like you feel loved and sexually empowered is the greatest honor of my life. And I'm proud to say I've now worked with over 2,000 people.

 

Over the years, I've started to see that there are five common struggles people come to me with. And in this episode, I'm breaking down what those struggles are, so that you can learn more about yourself and begin healing right now. So let's jump in, shall we? 

 

First, I want to talk about the real reason why sex fizzles in long-term relationships. Because this is a huge reason why people come to me. Either they want to save a sexless marriage, or they're being proactive and they want to learn the tools to keep both sex and love alive before sex starts to fizzle.

 

And I have great news for you. If both sex and love are to last the test of time, all you need are six key ingredients, and I'm going to quickly dive into each one.

 

Spicy ingredient number one is physical attraction. You must have been physically attracted to your lover in the beginning of your relationship. And to be clear, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When I say physical attraction, I am not talking about traditional beauty standards. I'm talking about your passions and your quirks and the unique things that make you so hot and special.

 

Studies show that kindness is sexier than any other quality, even looks. And trust me, people you know already think you're hot and sexy. And there's countless more out there who will as well. And yes, our bodies change with time and attraction might change as well. But if attraction was there in the beginning, then you can tap back into that frequency. But if there was no physical attraction at the beginning of the relationship, you could really love them. But if you are trying to force the attraction or create it from nothing, sex will not last the test of time. And unless sex was never an important part of that relationship, because an important caveat here for all my asexual and demisexual listeners, if you are asexual and sex was never important in the relationship, this doesn't apply to you.

 

I have seen many asexual people have long, beautiful, fulfilling relationships. And if you are demisexual, you might be thinking, but desire doesn't happen for me right away. Does that mean my relationship is doomed to fail? Absolutely not. While yes, you are right that your desire doesn't spark right away if you're demisexual, there will be a moment when sexual desire does click. So the first ingredient to keeping love and sex alive is still physical attraction. And as long as attraction was there in the beginning of your connection, remember if you're demisexual, it might click a little later, but it will still be at some point in the beginning. As long as you have that physical attraction, it will remain and it can always return unless you're missing the second ingredient of this puzzle.

 

The second spicy ingredient that keeps both sex and love alive for life is reverence. You must admire your lover. And this doesn't mean your lover has to be a saint or a rocket scientist. It just means that you admire them. You admire your lover's values. You admire the way they carry them themselves. You admire the way they show up to their life.

 

You must have reverence or admiration for your lover. And if you do not admire the person you love or you lose respect and admiration for your lover over time, not only will you not want to stay with them, you will lose attraction to them. Reverence might be one of the most important elements of keeping love and sex alive. You must admire your lover, and they must admire who you are as well. Or love will slowly disappear and sexual desire will disappear even faster. 

 

The next spicy ingredient in sex and love is investment. And when I say investment, I'm not just talking about money. I'm talking about investing emotionally as well. In order for sex and love to last, you must feel inspired to emotionally and financially invest in this connection. And your lover must feel the same. They too must be inspired and excited to emotionally and financially invest in you. 

 

And this is a huge lesson people pleasers need to learn. I see this all the time. A people pleaser will think, “if I am easy and agreeable and don't make them work for it”, they will appreciate me and they'll see my value. 

 

No, actually, you could not be more wrong. People only respect relationships that they put effort into, which means if you are the type to try and play it cool when your lover isn't investing in the connection, y'all need to stop this right now, because you are giving someone permission to dismiss you and take advantage of you.

 

Think about it. Have you ever dated someone and you're giving and giving, but they just start getting annoyed with you the more thoughtful and selfless you become? This is because in their mind, you are becoming a person they no longer want love from.

 

And I know that this sounds harsh, but let me break it down because you are worthy of love and you are special. When you don't give your lover the opportunity to invest in you, inevitably, you stop becoming the person your lover chooses and you become the person your lover settles for instead. You become comfortable in a bad way because you enable the opposite of growth. By giving and never asking for what you want or need, your lover doesn't need to grow and neither do you, because you are shrinking and you are not being your authentic self. Your perfect lover or lovers can never find you if you're doing that. And they will not admire you. They will not have reverence for you because they do not need to invest in you in order for you to stick around.

 

So ask for what you want. That is the simple solution to start solving this problem. Because when you give and give without asking for anything in return, you're setting yourself up for failure. We all have an unconscious expectation in relationships. When you give, you're doing so because you expect to receive something in return. But if you never ask for what you want or share your expectations when you're disappointed, you're not giving your lover the chance to invest in you. And you are not giving yourself the opportunity to see if they are worthy of your investment. Again, by investment, I mean time, your emotions, and yes, your money.

 

You should also know that it's not the end of the world if your lover won't give you what you want. Leave them or let them leave you. It's okay. Because if you want love and sex to last, you and your lover must both be excited and inspired to invest in the relationship. And you need to ask for it. Okay?

 

Now this brings me to the next spicy ingredient. Adoration. You must feel cherished and adored by your lover if sex and love is to last the test of time. You must have a language of affection that flows between you, and this will look unique for each relationship. Some lovers show physical affection. Others show verbal affirmation. But what's important is that you and your lover must give and receive affection in a way that is consistent and recognizable to each other.

 

The great news about this is that a lot of couples think this is what's missing in their relationship, but I can guarantee you that actually it's already present in your relationships. The only thing that's actually missing is recognizing the cues you show each other. Basically, you need to figure out what is your love and sex languages.

 

This is one of the biggest breakthroughs I help people in relationships with. It's figuring out how each person gives and receives adoration. And so often the adoration is there, but you and your lover are missing each other's cues and fixing this is such low hanging fruit, but the results are life-changing.

 

The next spicy ingredient you need for sex and love to last is loyalty. And I want to be clear about this. You define what loyalty means in your relationship. For example, one of my clients is polysexual but emotionally monogamous. This means that she likes having sex with more than one person, but this sexual openness has no effect on her emotional connection. She is exclusively committed to her husband. Her heart belongs to him. This is their definition of loyalty, emotional exclusivity, and sexual openness. This couple has been together for decades, and this works for them. So in this marriage, where loyalty is a value, this couple has defined that loyalty is meant to mean emotional exclusivity.

 

Now, we often believe that when love and loyalty mix, monogamy is the only option. But monogamy is just one of the many beautiful options that we have. And you must define what loyalty means for your relationship. And if you want your relationship to last the test of time, you and your lovers need to be on the same page about loyalty. 

 

Which brings me to the final spicy ingredient to make love and sex last the test of time. Mystery. This is the most important ingredient for long-lasting sex. But it can feel counterintuitive because how does loyalty and mystery mix?

 

Well, here's the rub. In order for love and intimacy to stay strong, you need vulnerability and loyalty. But in order for sex and passion to stay strong, you need mystery, longing, and space.

 

So you need to wonder what your lover is thinking. You need the space to miss them. You need ambiguity so you can still be a little curious about them. The trick is the mystery in your relationship cannot come at the expense of loyalty. And here are some simple examples. It's healthy and cute to wonder what your lover is doing at this exact moment. But it's toxic if you frequently do not know where your spouse is and you're wondering where they are and what they are doing. It's healthy and cute to wonder what your lover is thinking. It's toxic to wonder if you can trust your partner, thereby making you anxious about what they are thinking. 

 

Mystery is the final and essential ingredient to keep sex alive along with love, but it cannot come at the expense of loyalty or reverence. Meaning the mystery you create should not make you lose respect for your partner so you stop admiring them. And it should not make you feel insecure or as if you can't trust them because then the loyalty is compromised.

 

Relationships are beautiful, but they are also work. And arguably, falling in love is one of the most profound paths of self-improvement you could ever hope to embark on. And as long as your relationship has these six spicy ingredients, attraction, reverence, investment, loyalty, admiration, and mystery. All six of those. It will last the test of time. 

 

And now that we've talked about love, let's talk about one of my all-time favorite topics, casual sex. The second most common reason that people come to me is because they are single and hating it. You don't feel magnetic or excited about your situation. You don't know how to approach people you're attracted to. And dating apps make it feel like you're just scheduling a bunch of appointments that you kind of dread.

 

Meanwhile, you're navigating all the quiet or not so quiet opinions from your family and friends who want you to find love, but make you feel like being single for too long means you're failing or that something must be wrong with you. And on top of all of that, all the movies we see about the single life make it seem like your life is supposed to be this effortless adventure where you are always pursued and chosen. So no wonder you feel insecure, awkward, resentful, or intimidated by the single life. But being single can be the best time of your life. 

 

In reality, life takes effort. And it also takes work to reconnect to your confidence. Not to mention that adventures are not effortless. They must be planned or asked for. And sometimes we're too tired or bloated or frustrated to feel like this charming magnetic person. But the truth is, the magnetic, charming version of you is always there, right beneath the surface. And your life can feel like an adventure, but you must put effort into it to make it so.

 

There are six big reasons why people aren't enjoying the single life and casual sex. And I will break these down right now. First, you must start taking risks and you must make peace with rejection.

 

The biggest lie you were ever told is that rejection is personal and that rejection is proof that you aren't worthy of what deep down you truly want. This is the first thing that you must heal. Rejection is not personal, no matter how personal it can feel. Rejection is protection and redirection. Rejection is your best friend on this single journey. It is proof of your worthiness. You are so worthy of the love and sex that you desire that rejection will make sure that what isn't in alignment for you will not stick around to drag you down and sabotage your pleasure. You must honor rejection and learn to let go. Once you truly reframe rejection and it no longer affects your self-esteem or what you believe is possible for your life, being single becomes an endless stream of opportunity and adventure.

 

Which means you must step into the second stage of living an empowered single life. You must know your why or you will get lost in shiny object syndrome. Why are you excited to be single? And what are you looking for right now? Do you want to finally explore sex fantasies you never could when you were married to your ex? Do you want to find love again so being single looks like finding your next soulmate? Or do you want to be single for a long time? You have no interest in a relationship, but you still want connection and affection. What is your why? 

 

If you do not know what you are searching for right now in your love life, you will get lost and you will get hurt. You will become jaded and confused and discouraged. Knowing your why gives you the power to honor your boundaries and it makes you a magnet to your desires. When you know what you want and you're clear about this, the entire world starts conspiring in your favor to make your desire a reality.

 

Now, the trick with being single and knowing your why is recognizing that your why will change and sometimes it will change quickly. For example, I had a male client who had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with a woman. And he only ever dated women, but secretly, he knew he was bisexual. Now, he was finally single again, and his why was exploring his bisexuality. But he was also desperately scared because no one knew about his closeted desires. And he was afraid to date because he also wasn't emotionally available. And he didn't want to be that guy who's just trying to have sex with a bunch of random people. 

 

And so in our work together, I helped him learn how to communicate both his desires and his emotional limitations so he could explore casual sex ethically and not take people for granted or be misleading. He started exploring sex with men and suddenly his why changed. He met a man and he realized he was falling in love. My client's why swiftly changed from casual sex and exploration to wanting an exclusive relationship again. And when he told his lover this, he was met with some sad news. His lover wasn't open to dating at this time and was not looking for a relationship.

 

Well, my client took the rejection as redirection and ended things. But his why still hadn't changed. Now my client realized he was single and dating and ready for a new relationship. So not only must you know your why if you are to be single and empowered, you must be honest with yourself when your why changes.

 

The third key to feeling empowered as a single person is honoring the low points and the sad moments, because they will happen. Being single is one of the most fun, expansive, adventurous times of your life, but it can also hurt. Do not run or suppress those feelings. Be present in the sad moments. Feel them all the way through. And remember, you will feel sad, frustrated, misunderstood, lonely when you are in a relationship too.

 

The best lesson you can learn while you're single is how to honor your emotions without letting them create stories of, I'm not good enough or I'll never be able to find what I want. 

 

And finally, the last two pieces of the casual sex puzzle are communicating early and communicating often.

 

As a single person, especially if you are eager to have new sexual experiences, you must get used to speaking up. Approach the cutie at the bar. Just walk up and say hi. Did you know studies actually show it takes 30 nonverbal cues for two people to realize that they are interested in each other? This means that if you are not direct, it will take 30 glances and “will they, won't they” moments for someone to approach you, which is way too long.

 

Spoiler alert, the 30 nonverbal cues will never happen because no one is consciously looking for them and people end up missing each other all the time. The best thing you can do if you think someone is cute is walk right up to them and say, hello, I think you're cute and strike up a conversation.

 

Communicate early, communicate often. And if they show you they are not interested through either their words, body language, or actions, here is what you do. You thank them for their time, wish them a good night, and move on. This will make them respect you even if they're not interested in you. And it gives you the right skills to show up respectfully for the right person.

 

But if they are interested in you, communicating means talking about sex early on and talking about expectations. Normalize talking about feelings and what you need to feel respected. Your casual lover is not responsible for your feelings, but your feelings should still be allowed to exist and should still be named and respected. Having a fun and empowering single life is one where you communicate early and communicate often.

 

And last but certainly not least, the final element of having an empowered and fun single life is that you need to start saying no 10 times more than you already are as a single person. This is the biggest mistake I see people make. When you are single, the world is your oyster. You can do anything, but what do you want to do?

 

Now is not the time to compromise. If someone wants to take you on a yoga date and you can do yoga but you never really liked it, say no and ask for something else. If you don't like spending lots of money on dates, say no and suggest going on a hike or to a museum. If you are naked in bed and your lover wants to go down on you but you never really liked that, say no and share what you like in bed. Stop compromising as you date and as a single person. This is the reason why being single sucks.

 

It's because you are not communicating and because you are compromising. You are shrinking and you are taking rejection super personally. Being single is the most empowering experience, one where you can transform your love life into anything that you desire. You just need to be brave enough to take risks, to feel your feelings, and speak up. Remember, you can never say the wrong thing to the right person and the right thing to the wrong person. 

 

All right, that was a crash course in the empowered single life. And now let's jump into the third most common sex block I see when I see my clients. This one is all about domination. 

 

The third most common struggle I see as a sex coach is when someone wants to be more dominant. Sometimes this looks like someone who wants to feel more masculine and reconnect to their masculinity, which may be well-intentioned, but it's the wrong solution for this problem.

 

Other times, it's someone who's exploring BDSM and wants to be a dom. And of course, this also comes up with a lot of my male clients who struggle to initiate sex or flirt with their lover. Here is the secret about being more dominant and confidently initiating sex. It has nothing to do with masculinity. It's all about leadership.

 

I know many dominant hyper-feminine women and femmes, and I know dozens of dominatrixes. Dominance does not come from masculinity. True domination is leadership. And leadership is about vision, confidence, and an equal balance of your feminine and masculine energy. So for anyone listening who either wants to become BDSM dom or simply wants to feel confident as you initiate sex or flirtation, what you need to do is ask yourself, how can I show up as a leader in my sex life?

 

A good leader is someone who listens to people and serves the people they care for. A leader is not a toxic dominator. And yes, I know this language is confusing because sometimes domination can be consensually sadistic and very fun. But remember, it's okay to want to access your dominant side, but it's not healthy to want to dominate over others without their consent and communication, because a leader is of service to the people or person that they are leading. And just like a good BDSM dominant is not some aggressive bulldozer who takes control for the sake of it at the expense of others. A good BDSM dominant asks their submissive, what do you want? What do you like? What do you need? What are your boundaries? 

 

And then with this information, the dom can become a good leader. They have the information they need to serve or the information they need to say, hey, I'm not the right dominant for you. If someone ever says that, that is a very ethical BDSM dom.

 

But either way, asking these questions makes you a good leader. It thereby allows you as a dom or as someone accessing your confidence and initiating sex, it allows you to take control of a situation with clarity, confidence, and care.

 

And again, if you are struggling with initiating and flirting, you do not need to get in touch with your masculinity. You need to get in touch with your inner leader. And a leader is not afraid to make the first move, because a good leader asks questions and can read the room. So if you walk up to a beautiful woman or a handsome man or a really hot non-binary person and start talking to them, but they're not very responsive or excited, a good leader knows this situation is not in alignment for them. Meanwhile, toxic masculinity will tell you to keep pushing. But a good leader won't push. 

 

And PSA, if someone says to leave them alone, you leave them alone. Now, this message is usually directed at men, but everyone of all genders really needs to respect this. This is why leadership is the key to healthy dominance. When a client comes to me with the struggle of not feeling masculine or not being able to initiate or wanting to become a BDSM dom, we always do leadership training, and this always solves the problem.

 

The fourth most common sex struggle I see clients have has to do with non-monogamy. Either I see a couple who has been together for a long time and they want to explore non-monogamy, or one person in the relationship wants to open things up, but they are petrified to ask for this and they think that asking for this will destroy the relationship. 

 

I also see single people who are coming to terms with the fact that they are polyamorous or non-monogamous and this realization feels the opposite of empowering. It creates a deep rooted fear that you will never find a loving, committed relationship, because deep down you believe that only monogamous people get to have that.

 

For all the single people who relate to that fear, I have great news. Commitment and loyalty have nothing to do with monogamy. I know many non-monogamous couples who have been together for decades and counting. I know married couples with kids and both spouses have additional partners. These are married couples who have been together for decades. So if you relate to this fear, you must begin searching for representation of non-monogamous couples, because you need to show your brain what is possible and heal the way our culture defines true love as only monogamy.

 

And great news. Two of our guests this season are proof of what I'm talking about. Kenya K. Stevens has two husbands and kids, and Susan Bratton has a boyfriend, a husband, and a daughter as well.

 

Commitment and loyalty have nothing to do with monogamy. And for the couples who want to open up their relationship, I am so excited for you. Each relationship is unique, but there is one big tip I can give to everyone starting on this journey. Make sure to establish weekly check-ins about your relationship. This doesn't mean that you can't randomly talk about your love life on a Tuesday if your scheduled check-in is on Sunday. It means that you can talk about your relationship anytime, and you have a weekly check-in that creates a sense of safety, trust, and relief. You both will know, once a week, you have set aside time to check in, so even if life gets busy, you can still feel the love you need for non-monogamy to work and feel trusting. This also makes both people feel like a priority even as they explore non-monogamy.

 

And for anyone listening who wants to explore non-monogamy but you're afraid to tell your partner, know that speaking up is the first step. And it is extremely unlikely that sharing this curiosity will suddenly and swiftly end your relationship. Fun fact, studies show that 80% of our worries will never actually happen. And if it does and the relationship ends, just know that the relationship was already going to end for one reason or another.

 

In my experience, what usually happens in this situation when one partner opens up about wanting to explore non-monogamy, is that you too will discuss non-monogamy for a while, which creates a really beautiful opportunity for you both to talk about sex and to work on your communication. And of course, you can always seek out a therapist or a coach to help you with that journey. 

 

And finally, this leads me to the last big sex struggle I see with my clients. And this is when you do not believe that the love life of your dreams is possible for you. This especially happens if you have one or more marginalized identities. For example, I had a client who was in a wheelchair and he believed he could never find the love he wanted because he didn't think women were attracted to men in wheelchairs. He believed that all women wanted this athletic alpha male. And this isn't true. 

 

I've also had many transgender clients who feel like they will only ever be seen and celebrated in a T for T relationship. T for T means trans for trans. And this again isn't always true. I also have had clients who are plus sized and curvy, and they believe they'll never be able to date someone with a six pack because of the way our society treats bodies. This is also not true. After 15 years of studying sex and working with people, I can confirm that desire is unique and specific. Yes, we are influenced by beauty standards and the broad stereotypes they create. And yes, oppression is 100% real.

 

But desire and attraction can happen anywhere between anyone. Do not underestimate the power of love and desire, because it is more powerful than ignorance and bigotry. Whether you have all the privilege in the world or not, so many of us think that the love life we crave and dream about will never happen for us.

 

And again, this is especially prevalent when you have one or more marginalized identities, because our society loves to tell marginalized people that they are unlovable and unworthy and must assimilate to the status quo for acceptance and love.

 

And what is important about healing these limiting beliefs is to not gaslight yourself into toxic positivity, because we do live in a world that hierarchizes desire and that shoves unrealistic, toxic, beauty standards down our throats. The world says you must be white and skinny and successful to be desirable, and this world will discriminate against you.

 

And it's also true that most governments do not care about your rights if you are transgender or disabled or Black or poor or queer or indigenous. Oppression is very real. And this advice is not about pretending that it isn't.

 

It's about realizing that love and opportunity still exist all around you. That when you feel confident in your self-love, no one can take that away from you. And that when you change deep down those core beliefs and realize you are worthy, you can attract the relationship you desire despite the cruel realities of this world. The world will try to disempower you and make you feel insecure. Our society actively profits off of our shame, our insecurity, and our oppression.

 

But you are still the main character of your life. You are alive. You woke up today, which means you are worthy of every good thing life has to offer you. And by the way, the things you desire are not an accident. They are invitations to the life you deserve and can achieve. Every human on this earth has unique wants and desires, because your passion is a compass that comes directly from your soul, showing you how pleasure and love are meant to nourish your soul. You just need to be brave enough to honor it. And I know that you are. 

 

So there you have it, the top sex struggles I see with my clients. And this is by no means an exhaustive list. Other struggles I see but didn't mention in this episode are performance anxiety during sex, especially for people with a penis. Couples who have mismatched libido, where one person has a high sex drive and the other does not. And then another really common thing I see is not loving your body, which all genders feel, by the way. There was a study in 2021 that showed that the number two sex insecurity every gender has is how they look naked.

 

We often think that sexual empowerment means being hypersexual and loudly confident, but it doesn't. Sexual empowerment means you know who you are and what you want, and you know how to honor your desires, feel worthy, and honor your boundaries as well.

 

Well, that's it for today's episode. Maybe you saw yourself in some of the struggles I mentioned. And if so, I have some great news. Our next episode is something I have never done before. I will be coaching someone live on the show, so you can really see what it's like to work with a sex and relationship coach. And also, you can understand just how powerful it is to honor your sex life to heal your past. It's truly incredible. And you are so lucky you get to see this private session on the podcast next week. 

 

Now, in the meantime, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at PleasureScience. And if this episode taught you something new or made you feel seen and helpful, please subscribe and leave a review. Now more than ever, it's important to support sex education. And I know you believe in the mission of this podcast, which is making sexual liberation your new normal in a world that profits off of shame. So please take a moment to leave a rating, a review, or comment on this YouTube video and tell me what you liked best about this episode. 

 

And speaking of YouTube, for anybody listening, you can not only come over to YouTube to watch these amazing podcast episodes, and seriously, if you aren't already, you should, but you also get to watch my other video series, like how I rate famous sex scenes from your favorite movies as a sex scholar. So go check that out and leave a comment telling me what sex scene you want me to rate next.

 

And finally, if this episode resonated with you, then I want you to have everything you need to start healing your trauma so you can stop self-sabotage in its tracks and become the version of you that trusts, chooses, and receives pleasure with ease. Because when it comes to your sex life, you won't see things as they are. You will see things as you are. So if you want to improve sex, you need to improve you. And this is why I created Healing Trauma and Self-Sabotage, a guided video journey that gives you the roadmap you need to heal your life.

 

If you're ready to have shame-free sex and healthier relationships, to trust yourself and make empowering choices and create a future that makes you feel alive and free, then it is time to start streaming Healing Trauma and Self-Sabotage. And as a listener of this podcast, you get 10% off when you use the code pleasuresciencepod at checkout. So go ahead and start streaming Healing Trauma and Self-Sabotage now by clicking the link in the show notes or by heading to pleasurescience.com. It's truly a gift to your future self. So please go check out Healing Trauma and Self-Sabotage. 

 

Thank you so much for joining us this week. Before we go, just a quick reminder for you to experience pleasure in the next 24 hours, whether that's giving someone a compliment, asking for a hug, or buying yourself some flowers. You have one life to live, and I challenge you to go out there and experience pleasure today.

 

I'll see you next week.

 

This podcast is a pleasure science production hosted by me, Nadège, your resident sex scholar. The pleasure science podcast is produced by Laura Moore and edited by Camille Furman-Collot.

 

Our music is by Octasound and is licensed under the Pixabay content license. To find out more about pleasure science and to sign up for our online courses, please visit www.pleasurescience.com.

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