Lucie: I made this bet with myself or this agreement with myself to say, I'm going to decenter genitalia for a while. Not because I hated my body or hated my genitals. It's just that… I had… I wanted to see what else was out there.

 

Nadège: Welcome to Pleasure Science, a podcast all about teaching you how to feel healthier and empowered in your sexuality. And today I am so excited because I am joined by Lucie Fielding and we're going to be talking all about queer sex tips, because here's the thing that you need to know. Queer sex is actually for everybody, and we're going to explain why that is.

 

Now, Lucie is incredible. She is an author, she is an activist, and she actually wrote the first book on trans sex for physicians and therapists. I personally read her book before I started doing sex coaching, and it was a game changer. So if you are listening to this, and you are someone who is a therapist, you need to read this book. Also, if you're a doctor, and especially if you're a gynecologist or urologist. 

 

But that's not really what today is about. Today is about fucking. And how do we do that? And I am so excited to talk about this with Lucie because the last time Lucie and I hung out was at a sex party. Hi Lucie. 

 

Lucie: Hi. I love getting to see you and share space with you, every time is always a treat. So thank you for having me. 

 

Nadège: Oh, I'm so glad to have you. And, you know, we always kick off this podcast by asking our guests this one question that I think we don't ask people enough. But out of all the episodes, I feel like this is the most important one for this question to be asked. So I would love to know, what is your definition of sex?

 

Lucie: So I'm so curious to know what other people's definitions are, first of all. But I think the way that I approach it is that sex is not technique. It's not about what genitals are involved or if genitals are involved. Sex is an energy and an intention. It's like, what am I bringing, am I thinking of and conceiving of, what I am engaging in as sexual. And if it is, then that's sex, you know? And I think that that is really the kind of most expansive view on that in the sense that… and I think it encompasses a lot of approaches from, you know, numerous communities like, you know, the kink and especially the leather communities within kink, you know. We talk about leather sex and leather sex doesn't involve necessarily genitals or chest tissue at all. And it's not about who you're fucking, you know, or what their gender is, what your gender is, it's like, are you fucking? Are you deciding, whether it's solo or partnered, that you're fucking? 

 

Nadège: And that decision is sex. 

 

Lucie: Yeah.

 

Nadège: I love that. And I totally agree with this idea of expanding what it means to define sex. And that's one of the reasons why I am so excited to talk to you today. Because when I talk to people, whether they're students in our courses, people who come to our events, or just people on the street when they find out, they're like, wait, you're a sex scholar. Let me tell you my whole sex life, which I love. I love that.

 

Lucie: I'm so glad that happens to you, too. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, right. Right. It tends to happen to us. And I'm always here for it. You know, definitely, if you see me on the street, you can talk to me about that. But one of the hangups that I see is that we're conditioned to view sex as a very specific formula, right? It's kissing. It's foreplay, it's penetration, and orgasm. We have these four steps and that's it. And I mean, first off, that formula, one centers heterosexual sex, and it also tends to center cisgendered men and penis pleasure, because we're thinking of something hard, sliding into something wet, and that everything is about culminating to this moment, right? 

 

And that when we see an erection in the room, all of a sudden it's sort of like, oh, we're now on a timeline. Right? I don't know if you've ever felt that way, but I felt that way where it's like, oh, I can physically see someone's aroused. This is a cue to go to the next step. But is it? Right? And so when we think of queering sex, what does that mean to you? 

 

Lucie: I think it's precisely about breaking out of the scripts that are present and that are always, you know, our bodies. One of the definitions of the word embodiment, you know, is about, you know, embodying ideals, embodying stories, being a body that is moving through the world and being impacted by it. 

 

You know, so it's not just having a body and being in a body, it's also the fact that we are constantly being bombarded by stories and myths and metaphors, you know, and these ideas about what sex is, what good sex is, what bad sex is, what too much sex, too little sex. You know, valuing, you know, sexual and romantic intimacies over other types of intimacies, and other types of relationships. And I think when we're talking about queering sex, we're talking about saying that, like, who should is that? Whose ought is that? 

 

You know, I say to my clients sometimes when they, you know, come in and they say, well, you know, I've… it's always been this way. Or I've always been like this, you know, and with this implicit idea that I will always be like this because I was always like this. And I always want to say, you know, it's… it is not a matter of, you know, a fixed point, you know, you are… we are always… our bodies are constantly in transition. Quite apart from gender transitions of any sort, you know, but we're aging and, you know, things are… contexts are changing for what feels good and what doesn't feel good. And what is arousing and what isn't arousing. 

 

And I always want to tell clients at that point, who told you that story about you, that this is who you are and who you will always be. Where did you learn that, because typically that is, you know, a set of stories that they're getting from, you know, members of families, particularly caretakers. They're getting from their prior relationships, they're getting from various forms of media, and just kind of like what is… and they're getting it from history, you know. And so it's this idea that sex is essentially the same and is unchanging throughout time. Sexual essentialism is the fancy term for that. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, no, but that's so true. And you said something earlier, too, how with clients, you say, are you shoulding or are you oughting? Can you describe that a little bit more? What does that mean? 

 

Lucie: Well, I think I'm often trying to tune to a question, you know, when a client is saying, I should be like this. I ought to do this. I should want this. I should be able to come faster. You know, and I always want to say, who should is that?

 

Nadège: Yeah, I love that. You know, I often say to people, it sounds like you're shoulding all over the place.

 

Lucie: I love that even more. 

 

Nadège: But it’s true. We hear that all the time. Sexually, we should be a certain way. We should be heterosexual. We should like this. We ought to do this. And when it comes back to queering sex, I mean, stepping outside of, of course, if you identify as queer, in any way than you're queering sex by existing. But I love what you're saying where queering sex is also fundamentally questioning what you've been taught you should do or should be sexually. 

 

Lucie: Yeah, because I think, you know, a lot of queer folks, you know, have their… we have our own shoulds around sex like, you know, that, you know, that sex for certain people has to, you know, involve a penis going into an anus, you know, or that, you know, it has to involve a strapon or that it has to involve going down on somebody. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, that's a big one. I've heard a lot of people say, well, I don't think I'm gay or a lesbian because I don't want to eat someone out. And it's like, well, who told you that that means you are or are not… But that's a huge message that we get, absolutely, which even just shows no matter where you are at, we're all kind of needing to queer sex, which I think also I'd love to hear even your definition of queer, like what does that word mean to you? Because I think a lot of times people now think it's just a sexual… I love the smile on your face…. that people now I think, you know, that they see it. We've reclaimed the word. It's a sexual orientation. But I think it's so much more than that. And it's so important when we're understanding how to have good sex. So what does queer mean to you?

 

Lucie: Queer to me is a political energy and a political stance. I think it's what I call in my work a gender mercurial term. It resists being pinned down to particular sex acts, to particular genital or gender configurations. It resists being kind of captured within an identity category. Like, I always think about queer, and there are other words like, you know, dyke and fag that I think do similar work, you know, where it's like, they are these, you know, political terms, and they have in common that they were all, they're all reclaimed terms, you know, terms that were hurled nastily at us at various points in our lives. I mean, I've certainly been, you know, an epithet using… all three of those have been used as an epithet for me over the years.

 

And so I think that there's a political dimension to it. There's a non-identitarian element to it where it's like, it's not about who you're having sex with or if you're having sex or, you know, that it is or what genitals are involved, what genital configurations are involved. It's just like, again, queer resists being pinned down.

 

Nadège: And I think that's really the first and maybe biggest queer sex tip is, what do you think you should be? Question that. And unless it's kinky and fun, let's resist being pinned down to one definition of what we think our pleasure should be.

 

I mean, I feel like that is just such a root of so much lack of pleasure, right? The shoulding all over the place. 

 

Lucie: The shoulding all over the place, you know, the embracing the full, I think, multiverse that is queer, you know, is such a powerful move because it opens up a set of strategies, you know. I like to think about what are these kind of strategies that are not cis-heteronormative or ableist or, you know… because I think about crip sex, I think about leather sex, I think about queer sex and of course trans sex, you know. I see those as transcending, you know, the cis-heteronormative scripts, you know, because these… we are all members of these communities that have been, you know, labeled as deviant or have been desexualized or over-sexualized or, you know, and certainly we don't have comprehensive, medically accurate, all the things sex ed, you know, in our schools and in our daily lives. And what is there is so cis-heteronormative. 

 

But we, you know, disabled folks, kinky folks, queer folks, trans folks, we've had to extrapolate and to MacGyver our sexual being, you know. The late, great femme icon, Amber Hollibaugh, an activist, talks about how ingenious queer folks are when it comes to sex and, you know, the activist and art critic Douglas Crimp, in this wonderful essay that is so very, you know, on point for the last five years, “How to have Sex in an Epidemic”. And he talks about, you know, how queer folks invented forms of safer sex. We had to and we did, and, you know, and because we recognize, and this is I think the term he uses, the multiplicity of pleasure, and what, you know, so like, I think another element of queer sex is polymorphous perversity. 

 

Nadège: Yes, Define that. What does that mean?

 

Lucie: Polymorphous perversity is a term that we find really first elaborated in Freud's work, in particular the Three Essays on Sexuality from 1905. And in those essays, one of the things that he does is that he talks about infantile sexuality, and that it's not just that sex happens when you're an adult, and that sex is purely involving a penis, a vulva, and contraception, ah sorry, conception. And he, you know… so he talks about these kind of what we now call psychosexual stages of development, you know, it's where we get like, oral, anal, genital, oedipal, all those things. 

 

And what that speaks to is… and we don't have to keep all of, you know, all the stuff Freud writes about, you know, because he said some genius things, and he also wrote some really silly things. But polymorphous perversity, you know, is this beautiful acknowledgement that our bodies are playgrounds of wonder and that any part of our body can be an erogenous zone if we invest it with that sexual energy that we talked about with the first question. Like, if it's a pleasure zone for you and you're placing a sexual energy there, then it is sex. 

 

And I think that that's so exciting, you know, and so revelatory of, like, just touching somebody's pulse points in a particular way can be deeply pleasurable. And I think what opens up when we throw away the shoulds, throw away the cultural scripts, and approach our ourselves, our sexualities, those of our partners as with a beginner's mind of saying, I don't know what this is. I'm really excited to co-create something with you.

 

Nadège: ​​Yes, I love that. And, you know, also want to give space to… We always talk about the orgasm, but there are ear gasms, nipple gasms. Your feet have so many nerve endings, almost as many as a clitoris and more than the tip of a penis.

 

So there are…. your body is truly an area, like, the whole thing, you can just go ham and you should. And you said something earlier that I wanted to touch back on, when you were talking about Crip sex, leather sex, kinky sex. And I think a lot of people are not familiar with the term Crip sex. And for anyone who doesn't know, people in the disabled community who would… the slur term cripple would be used against them, started reclaiming that word and started saying, well, we have great Crip sex. And that's what that means. 

 

But I think when it comes to queering sex, thinking about ableism and our bodies is also really important. And thinking about Crip sex is really important because we're all aging, even if you are not currently living with a disability. If you have the privilege of getting older and living a long life, some point in time you will be in the disabled category. And how do you want people to treat you? And how do you want people to view you sexually? 

 

And you said something so brilliant about how there are so many people who get de-sexualized, right? And so thinking of Crip sex and our bodies aging, I mean, it's bringing to mind how we should be using pillows and another level of centering pleasure, right? Like, is your back hurting? What positions feel good? What are some things that you think of when you think of cripping sex? 

 

Lucie: Well, I think about, again, ingenuity, polymorphous perversity. I think about… I also think about a recognition that that sex is inherently unruly and messy and awkward.

 

Nadège: Yes. It is so awkward. It's part of its magic though, isn't it? 

 

Lucie: Yeah, but we want it to be like, you know, I think because, and this is again a cultural script, this should that says sex should be seamless, sex should be spontaneous, you know, all of these things. And, you know, I think those of us in communities that have broken out of those shoulds, you know, are imagining into, you know, well what is… let's start from first principles, what is pleasurable here in this moment and if something is not working, you know, the way that we might want it to on a given day. Like, okay, great, let's move on. Like, there's no worries, you know? 

 

It's like, you know, I think, you know, whether it's chronic pain or, you know, I experienced chronic fatigue, and have for decades. And, you know, and it's like… and I also know that some days my body is like, not only do I want something, but my body is able to engage in it. And then some days it's like, I may really want to, and it's just not happening. And I think approaching it from this place of It's okay, let's just try something else. Or let's pause for a second. Let's get a pillow. Let's get a, you know, what kinds of accommodations can we make? And then, you know, and proceed as as you were. 

 

It's not the end of the sexy times if, you know, your hip is really hurting, you know, where you're having, you know, a pain flare or something like that. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, absolutely. And as someone who used to have pelvic pain for years, I completely relate to that. And a reason why my pelvic pain lasted for so long was because I just assumed I had to power through it. And I didn't assume, well, why don't I change positions? Why don't I take penetration off the table? Why don't I try to use lube? Why am I so hung up on the fact that I should always be wet, right? Like all of these things.

 

And so, you know, thinking of just all the different ways our body can experience pleasure or even pain and again, not the fun kinky pain, but the like muscle cramp or the hip hurting. What are some of your favorite sex tips that are outside of the standard formula and outside of these shoulds? 

 

Lucie: I think being playful, incorporating, you know, it's incorporating toys, incorporating whatever kind of tools make whatever you're wanting to do more accessible for you and for any partners involved, you know? Does it require a liberator blanket or a wedge or pillow or several pillows? 

 

And, you know, I think something that you just mentioned, you know, about genital pelvic pain, you know, and you were saying, you know, I thought that I had to power through, you know, like sex is not something… I can't remember which sex educator said this aloud to me, but, you know, sex is not something you should endure. You know, if it's painful, not, again, the good kind of yummy pain. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, the fun sexy kinky. Yeah.

 

Lucie: Yeah. But, you know, if it's painful, stop it. Or like pause, pull out, you know, try something different, you know? And maybe it just doesn't work, you know, but if you move through the pain and endure it and just soldier on, or as Queen Victoria said to one of her daughters, and one of the crappiest things to say to somebody, lie back and think of England. Yeah, great marital advice, Victoria. But, you know, it's this thing of just like, just power through, stiff upper lip it, you know, and it's like, it's never going to feel better. Never ever is it going to feel better.

 

Nadège: Yeah, absolutely. And there's one queer sex tip that I learned from you that I absolutely love, and that I think more people need to know about, and that is muffing. So would you like to share a little bit about the background of muffing for one. And then two, I mean, if you're watching on YouTube, you get to see us beautifully in person. But Lucy teaches incredible classes on muffing as well that I feel like everyone should take from you. But I love talking about muffing because I think this is one profound way to just show again, the polymorphous perversity of the body. The abundant pleasure for the body. And just to really show people, you might think you're thinking out of the box, but you don't even know what the box is. Right? 

 

Lucie: Yeah. 

 

Nadège: So what is muffing? And just as much as you also want to share with tips for it, but I would say, I've taken Lucy's class and I highly recommend it. But what is muffing?

 

Lucie: Muffing, simply put, first of all, the term was coined by Mira Bellwether in her indispensable zine, F*cking Trans Women. It's a practice, by the way, that has been around for hundreds of years in certain cultures, particularly as part of genital massage.

 

But what it involves is basically finger-banging somebody from the front using two holes that are not entirely obvious, but that everyone has, which are the inguinal canals. The inguinal canals are like if you're thinking about the V of the crotch, you know, but some gay men apparently refer to those kind of grooves as the cum gutters. I love such an evocative term. 

 

Nadège: I know me too.

 

Lucie: But so that V, running parallel to that V is basically the inguinal canals, and there's one canal on each side. For folks born with external gonads, sometimes referred to as testicles, they pass through the inguinal canals when they descend. And so if you think about it, they are that kind of width where they can expand to that type of width. It's fascial tissue. So it's not muscular. It's not as flexible as say other holes that have sphincters like the anus or the vagina or the mouth that, you know, have a lot of muscles that allow a lot of expansion. 

 

But basically what you do with muffing is that it involves kind of like taking some of the excess tissue, either the skin that is covering the external gonad, or for folks who have enough kind of tissue available, folks with outer labia can also do this. But it basically, it's a motion that kind of collects it and uses that skin as basically a finger cot. 

 

And why do people do this? People do this because it is and it can be intensely pleasurable. Because the canal is a passage from the pelvis through the abdominal wall. And you can't access the abdominal wall, you know, if you're actually engaging in muffing. But what you are doing is… you are stimulating all of those nerve endings that are around there. And the inguinal canals are pretty close to the surface, so you can even do some massage of that area. And just that can be intensely pleasurable. Because you're just touching those nerve endings from the outside instead of the inside.

 

But yeah, it can be fun and it can also be really, really gender pleasurable in the sense that for those of us who were born with external gonads who may not have a front hole, it's intensely pleasurable to finally be like, oh my God, I am being finger-banged from the front. And so you can get… I've gotten about two fingers in each hole and there's a feeling of immense fullness there. I don't know what it is to be fisted from the front, but-

 

Nadège: But that stuffed feeling feels good. I know what you're talking about. There are times where, you know, penetration isn't really my path to orgasm, but there are times where it feels so good to just be stuffed from the front. And so I completely understand what you're saying with muffing feeling so pleasurable of one, that feeling of being stuffed, two, let's massage these nerve endings because hello, they are there. Why wouldn't we, right? Let's think outside the box. 

 

And so just, you know, muffing is such a wonderful, yummy thing to play with that people don't even think about, you know, and we see the external gonads and I think so many people think, Oh, that's too sensitive, you know? Don't touch that area. Or if you do be very soft and, which can be totally true and definitely listen to your lover. Don't, you know, we're not saying not to listen to someone and say, no, I'm going to go hard now.

 

But you can play with these areas in ways that are so much more expansive than we previously thought. And I know with so many people and especially cisgendered men who struggle with erectile dysfunction and feel like, oh, well, if I have erectile dysfunction, sex is over. And muffing is literally just proof that, you know, no matter what your sexual function ability is, you can still have pleasurable sex. 

 

And in fact, I remember one time you said to me, you know, when we were talking about erectile dysfunction, how it can be sad to hear people say, well, you know, I'm struggling with ED, I can't have sex. And it's like, well, actually, all the nerve endings are there. And that was something you had said to me. And even me as a sex educator, I was like, I didn't even put two and two together, because I'm so thoroughly indoctrinated in heterosexual surroundings and language, even as a queer person, right? And this is why it's so important to be open-minded, just about your pleasure. 

 

Lucie: Yeah, when we're talking about genital arousal and we're talking about… and all of our genitals have erectile tissue, tissue that becomes engorged with blood when blood flow goes sucked down to the crotch.

 

And it's just like, what it does is it increases and flattens the surface area so that it's maybe a little bit more accessible, those nerve endings say of on the shaft of a penis. It doesn't mean that the nerve endings suddenly are closer to the surface and that they are, you know, suddenly there and that they go away when somebody is soft. I've said this before, you can have mind-blowing sex with a flaccid penis. I mean, I certainly have. 

 

And something that I say to my participants at the muffing workshop is even if muffing isn't for you. It doesn't feel good. It's not something accessible for you for whatever reason. Like if you've had, you know, if there's mesh or scar tissue that's in that area from say like a hernia, you know, it may be inaccessible. But I think what muffing is a kind of proof of concept of is what other holes are hiding out in our bodies? Like, you know, I say to folks, have you ever fucked an armpit? I mean…

 

Nadège: It's so fun!

 

Lucie: It's so fun. 

 

Nadège: So fun. And again, another super erogenous zone. And it's so funny because I think, you know, something too, when we think of queering sex is reconnecting to smells and the natural body. Like this is something we see a lot in the queer community, people rejecting the idea that we have to shave under our arms or our legs. You know, we see body hair coming back, which is just a really beautiful thing in the sense that you can be hot, no matter what your body looks like, right? 

 

But, you know, the idea of fucking an armpit, I mean, some listeners might be like, whoa, what? But don't knock it till you try it, first off. I actually personally love it when my lover will lick my armpit. It's one of my favorite things on this planet. It's so… because of all the nerve endings, it's so sexy.

 

But it's just so fun to reclaim these areas and to queer sex because you truly realize that there is so much you can be doing. When did you realize that armpits were a fun and pleasurable experience for you? 

 

Lucie: So when I was in an early part of my transition, I think I made this bet with myself or this agreement with myself to say, I'm going to decenter genitalia for a while, not because I hated my body or hated my genitals. It's just that I had… I wanted to see what else was out there, you know, for me. And so it's like, OK, let's completely deprioritize this part. Not forever, but maybe for a little bit. And let's see what else is possible. 

 

And, you know, and then you find all these other things you can do that are intensely pleasurable, you know? Something that I've been doing for a little over a year is lactating. And one of the great pleasures of my life, you know, is all that yummy nipple stimulation, and it is positively orgasmic when somebody is playing with my breasts and, you know, with the milk. And, you know, there's so much of that. And so it was like, OK, well… a lot of times it's like fucking around and finding out and just kind of being open to that. And sometimes it's really intuition for me of like, I just feel called to a particular place, you know, and I'll check in with, you know, if I'm having partnered sex, I'll check in with them and say, you know, like, think about this, how would you feel about this? And then sometimes they're like, oh yeah, go for it. And I think you find all sorts of surprising things when you do that.

 

Nadège: Yeah, you know, I really relate, and something that you're reminding me of a moment in my journey where I was always really ashamed of my feet. And it was just so amazing when I finally realized, actually, I want people to play with my feet. And I was always running. I always felt like, oh, my feet are kind of smelly. They have calluses. No one's going to want… but I wanted it. And what you just said about listening to your intuition is just so powerful because your body knows. Right? Your body does know. 

 

And so, I mean, I'm just loving this conversation. I feel like we could talk forever, but I'm sure people also were loving it. Where can our listeners find out more about you, find out more about your work? Let us know. And if you have anything fun also coming up, like any of any workshops. 

 

Lucie: Yeah. So, first of all, you can find me probably most readily at sexbeyondbinaries on Instagram. I'm probably most active on Instagram. I tend to avoid what was the artist formerly known as Twitter, and instead tend to focus on Instagram and BlueSky, but sexbeyondbinaries at both. Also, please subscribe to my newsletter. I don't send them out very often, but I would love for folks to stay in contact that way. 

 

A lot of stuff coming up. I've been really enjoying teaching… I'm neurodivergent and I figured out a few years ago that sex is my special interest, you know? It's like, what is my special interest? What is my special interest? And it's like, oh yeah, sex and kink. Right. And so now I teach, you know, courses on lactation play, on muffing, psychological edge play. I'm really wanting to do a COVID cautious kink class. So yeah, so I'm always trying to develop new classes and do new things. 

 

Nadège: I love that. Amazing. Well, I think we'll definitely put links to your newsletter so people can stay up to date on all of the different workshops that you're doing. Because like I said, I've taken your workshops and they are absolutely incredible. So thank you so much for being here, Lucy. It was so good to have you.

 

Lucie: Thank you for having me. And it's always fun being in conversation with you. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, same. 

 

That is it for this season of Pleasure Science. And I know you cannot wait for season two. I can't either. But in the meantime, you can follow me on Instagram or TikTok at PleasureScience. And please remember to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen and leave a rating or a review. And this isn't just to help Pleasure Science and to help us specifically. Actually, when you subscribe to sex-positive publications, you are showing the world in general how important it is for us to get this kind of knowledge. You're a part of a movement, okay? Not just the Pleasure Science community.

 

Although I am so glad you're here. And I also hope you watch these episodes on YouTube. You can see Lucy's beautiful face and amazing cleavage. And of course, you can go to PleasureScience.com to check out our incredible courses where I teach you how to trust, love, and learn about sex using your natural strengths. Because in this episode, you may have learned how to queer sex, but did you also know that you have natural strengths when it comes to sex and natural talents that you can be tapping into? So you can use the codeword pleasuresciencepod for 10% off all of our courses.

 

And thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for joining us for season one. This has honestly been a true delight and pleasure for me to provide this knowledge to you guys, to interview these incredible guests. I was so intentional about everybody from Lucie and this incredible episode today, all the way back to episode two with Vi Johnson.

 

So, I just want to thank you for listening to this season, and of course, remember to do something pleasurable. Maybe that's listening to another episode of this podcast. Maybe that's eating a donut. Maybe it's telling someone how grateful you are that they are in your life. Go out and add some pleasure to your day, and I will see you next season for the Pleasure Science Podcast.

 

This podcast is a Pleasure Science production hosted by me, Nadège, your resident sex scholar. The Pleasure Science podcast is produced by Laura Moore and edited by Camille Furman-Cullot. Our music is by Octosound and is licensed under the Pixabay content license. To find out more about Pleasure Science and to sign up for our online courses, please visit www.pleasurescience.com.