Susan: When you extend your sex span, you actually extend your health span and your happiness span. And the longer, every 10 years you continue to have intimate pleasure, you add two years to your life.

 

Nadège: Welcome back everybody to another episode of Pleasure Science, a podcast that makes sexual liberation your new normal by changing the way you love and feel loved. And this week I'm so excited because one of my favorite people ever is joining us on the podcast, Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions. And actually fun fact, Susan, I found you at the very beginning of my career. Over 15 years ago. And I was just looking for all different types of sex information and you popped up. I don't know what website or who… how I found you, but you were wearing the sexiest black dress. You had all your cleavage showing gorgeously. And you were talking about just like all these limiting beliefs people have in their sex life. And I never forgot it. 

 

And then, I mean, yeah, over a decade later, we were at Vibe Expo, and I saw you from across the room. I'm like, that's Susan Bratton. And you came right over to me and you were like, hi! And I was just like, what? The fact that you were so just open, approachable. And to me, I was like, this is an icon coming to me from across the lobby. But welcome, because you really are the intimacy expert to millions. You've been doing this for so long and we are so honored to have you here.

 

Susan: That is such a glowing and warm introduction, Nadège. Thank you so much. And it's funny because the minute I met you, I thought, oh this is a scholar. I'm talking to a scholar. I'm talking to someone who has… is going to build an incredible brain trust of a database in her work throughout her life. And I want to witness her evolution. I want to experience her growth. It's going to really be exciting for me to watch you just keep getting bigger and better and more amazing. And you've been doing that since the minute I met you. 

 

And I also wanted to tell you that my persona, when I use chat GPT and Gemini to figure things out and give me ideas, is Susan Sassy Bratton. Susan Bratton, the sassy, sciencey sexpert. That's my persona. My… you know, I have a custom GPT that I use that I've trained it in my voice against my whole catalog of 44 books and programs. Hundreds of podcasts of my favorite podcast interviews, my Substack articles, my newsletters, my free ebooks, you know, all the stuff, so that it speaks the way I like to speak and talks about the things that I like to talk about. And that's what I call her.

 

And so we share that love of the science behind the kinesthetics, the experiences, the emotionality, the… you know, how I love to talk about why orgasmic activation of your vulva vaginal system relies on mechanoreceptors and core puzzles and, you know, heat sensors and everything, all the nerve endings and all, you know, it's like, once you start to ground things in the science, it becomes more believable and more approachable and more doable. 

 

I want to tell you, you know, you were just asking me about how is it here in Australia? I'm here with my daughter. She's getting her PhD here. And I know you… do you have your PhD yet?

 

Nadège: No, not yet. 

 

Susan: Oh yeah. Well, that's inevitable for you. I can't see you not ending up with one. I really can't. You'll figure out what you want to do and I know you'll get there. Cause I really, I really think your brain will be really well wired for that. And we need more sexuality PhDs like Justin Lehmiller. I think he's so- 

 

Nadège: Oh, I love Justin. He's brilliant. 

 

Susan: He’s just incredible. You know, he's just really one of the greatest minds in our business. But I was here and I was speaking at Sexhibition, and Sexhibition was a very interesting show at which to speak because it was a lot of OnlyFans stars, some foreign stars and a lot of… gosh, burlesque dancers, strippers, people who were really stage performers in the sexual world. There's much more of that here in Australia, which is so interesting. 

 

And it was so hot in the exhibit hall that I ended up doing my first talk in lingerie. And I'd never spoken from stage, not in a sexy business suit or something like that. I'd never done that. And I spoke in just… literally the lingerie I brought with me, that was all I had. I didn't… There was no place to go buy anything. You know, I was in Brisbane. I don't, I got giant… but nothing's going to fit me. So I just wore the lingerie to speak both days that I had brought on my trip, because my husband loves lingerie, and the slutty shoes I brought, the sparkly little slutty shoes I wear in bed when I have sex with him.

 

And I went, Oh, no this is what I need to be doing because I was… what I was also doing was I was talking about the 20 kinds of orgasms that the human body can have. By the way, the 20th one is wild card. It's asymptotic. It's unlimited. There's no end to the different kinds of orgasms you can have. This is really my point. And I did moaning demonstrations of what different types of orgasms sound like. And it was so much fun to be on the stage in lingerie moaning orgasm sounds. And I thought, oh, okay. This is where I'm going. I'm really busting out. I mean, this is one more facet of my elder slut era, which I told you I am in.

 

You know, I came to talk to you about that today and to talk to you about 20 and 30 somethings that have been gathering in my daughters… We have this Airbnb, our daughter and her boyfriend are staying with us, and they're coming over and they just want to sit and talk to me and ask me questions, which of course I love. And so I was saying to you that the questions they're asking me are the same questions that the 40, 50, and 60 year olds are asking me. They tend to be these eternal questions. And they're not so much different from your 20s to your 60s or your 70s. 

 

Nadège: Why do you think that is? For once, I'm gonna ask you, by the way, what the questions are, but first, why do you think it is? Because for anyone who doesn't know, Susan, you're proudly in your 60s. You live a beautiful unconventional life with a husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. When you say your elder slut era, you mean this in the best possible way. And so not only have you been an intimacy expert to millions, but you're living your dream sex life. And so why do you think, as someone who's just been around the block for so long personally and professionally, why do you think people in their 20s and 30s have the same questions and sex blocks as people in their 50s, 60s, 70s and above?

 

Susan: Yeah. So my elder slut era, those three words really describe why we're asking those things. So I'll explain it. I'll break it down really simply. Elder is to me a word for, I don't like… what was it we were talking about originally? There was some phrase, I don't know, oh, senior citizen-

 

Nadège: Senior citizen. It was the phrase senior citizen. 

 

Susan: I'm like bitch, no, I am not talking about senior citizens. I am not a senior citizen. I refuse. I'm a refusenik. I am not… But I am an elder and what I like about being an elder. There's two things I love the most about being an elder. One is that I have a lot of wisdom from my time on this planet. I have a wide view and a depth of knowledge. And the second thing that I love is that my heart muscle is as in good shape as my very well-formed body muscles. It's gotten a lot of work and it's really strong and I can love more easily, widely, deeply, and intensely than I've ever loved in my life.

 

So the combination of the wisdom and the joy I get from my wisdom and my… and the loving way that my life is just filled with love is just a really incredible thing that you can't get unless you're an elder. Because you just get better at sex, love, knowledge, everything as you age. You're more mature. So that's the elder. 

 

And the slut is really the same as pussy. It's the reclamation. It's the taking back the word. It's the… there is absolutely… I don't want to be slut shamed. I don't care what my body count is. I STI test safely and know what incubation periods are for STIs. I get… I have my ProDX health at home tests. I use them if I decide to take a lover. You know? I know exactly what I'm doing to keep myself safe, and I think the slut is just wanting to have a word that is I'm open to pleasure. I'm open to connection. I'm open to experiences, and I'm open to it with new people whenever they come along and my body is like a yes and they're a yes and things work out and it's safe. STI testing is a huge part of safety for me. And so I like the sluttiness because it really owns the appetite for discovery and expansion of sexual pleasure. That's what I like. 

 

Nadège: I love that and I feel the same. I love the word slut and I feel like I'm reclaiming it too. And hearing the difference between the word elder and senior citizen, like even before you went into your own definition of this, I could already feel just the difference in groundedness and integrity and that of these different words. And one word feels like retirement and the other word feels like expansion and excitement. 

 

Susan: It feels like gravitas. Elder has gravitas, and slut has desire and energy and, you know, fist to the wind. The iconoclast is in there, which is so much a joy for me to be an iconoclast as well. And then the era is that it's an arc. And what I like about era is that we have these times in our life where we are really in an expansion and it has this growth opportunity to it.

 

And one of the things that the 20 somethings want and the 50 somethings want, if you're still having hot sex and pursuing hot sex in your fifties, your sixties, your seventies, your eighties, your nineties, and beyond, you have an appetite for growth that doesn't go away just because you're not 20, 30, or 40 anymore.

 

My sex life really took off in my 40s. It's just gotten better and better literally every day, every week. It gets better, just my ability to love gets stronger and easier and more pleasant. So that's what it is. 

 

And so the questions that people wanted to know, is that what your next thing is? Did you want me to go there? 

 

Nadège: Well, the next question actually that we ask all our guests, and it was perfect how you were talking about your slut era and all of this stuff, because this is what all the sluts listening need to think about. So Susan, what is your definition of sex?

 

Susan: Yeah. My definition of sex is that it is a physical, emotional, spiritual opportunity to drive pleasure, longevity, connection, ecstatic bliss, orgasmic capacity into your life, so that you have this kind of nuclear fission of passion, purpose, vitality, and growth.

 

Nadège: Oh, I love that. 

 

Susan: It's a catalyst. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, absolutely. And the next question that I'm thinking of, because I really want to go into so many different things with you, and we will, but for people who don't know you, what is your story? You kind of alluded to it for a second of like, oh, before 40, things were different. And I'm sure everybody listening, because so many people find Pleasure Science and they're not having the sex that they want, and often have not been in the relationship or lifestyle that they've wanted for years. We've made all these compromises. And so what is your story? How did you go from… and when did you start being a sex expert? Because like I said, you've been in this industry trailblazing for decades.

 

Susan: Yeah, well, I think that… I would say there's a couple things. One is that I had a more conventional life until my 40s, and then when I discovered the pleasure of sex and sexuality and the emancipation of orgasmic bliss, I really just took a turn to being a sexpert. When I realized that all of sex is just a series of learned skills and that you get better at them over time. And that there's always something more to learn and experience. Like one of the things I wanna talk to you about right now is my haptics and teledildonics. I've just got this new, like, jam, I'm so into that right now. I'm studying it. I'm mastering it. It's very interesting. And I've been having some incredible experiences with it. And I think it's the future of sex in so many ways. And people are afraid of it like they're afraid of AI and they're afraid of tech and man, embracing it, it is going to… it is going to take the experiences we can have in pleasure to new levels. It's just unbelievable. So I'd love to put a pin in that too. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, we're going to come back to that for sure. 

 

Susan: And I… so I had this kind of like the before and after epiphany of what really good sex can provide as far as vitality and, you know, just creativity and personal self-confidence and those kinds of things. I always was sex positive. I always dated. I always had sex with people from about, I think I was 19 when I lost my virginity. It took me a while. I wasn't ready and I knew I wasn't, I always knew what I wanted and I was right. And I found someone and I was ready. And the minute, the first time I had sex, even using birth control, I got pregnant. I ended up getting an abortion. And so that was a bummer. Cause I was really being careful and you know, I still got pregnant.

 

And, I had a lot of bad dates. I had a lot of bad sex. I had a lot of disappointments. I had a lot of dissatisfaction. I had glimmers of hope throughout that woven in that kept me going and kept me hopeful. And then I met my husband. I really liked him. I really liked having sex with him, but I had sex with him for about 11 years and I'd never had an orgasm from intercourse. And I just got tired of wanting quote unquote sex at being so intercourse focused. And we didn't really have any skills and we didn't know what we were doing and we didn't want to get divorced. And so we went to therapists, but they really couldn't help us. And then we started going to sex workshops, and that's what really helped us almost instantly. As soon as people told us what to do and we did it, it worked. And that was the catalyst for me that I was like, oh, I want to devote the rest of my life to essentially taking these workshop-like experiences and putting them on the Internet, because I was a Silicon Valley executive. And my company literally launched the broadband cable modem. And so we went from dial up to high speed broadband. I launched the first video ads on the internet. I launched the first video or the first internet advertising standards. I was really, I was 1.0 web.

 

Nadège: At the forefront. 

 

Susan: And so I knew it was going to be streaming video. I knew what we were up for. And I wanted to find a way for people all over the world to have those transformational experiences online who might never be able to go to a San Francisco sex workshop and get naked and make themselves do the stuff that I did. 

 

And so I started by publishing the work of my mentors whose lineages I carry forward, around especially the practice of expanded orgasm, as well as G-spot pleasuring, dearmoring, and female ejaculation. Those are two of the kind of fundamental skills. And then soon I partnered with a lovely man, Jim Benson, and we launched Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men, which was, is a technique for gaining stamina and then allowing you to go from stamina to male multiple full body energy orgasms, and kind of get off of the single-minded focus that ejaculation and orgasm is the only pathway for men. And more and more men are now expanding into finding their P spot, having full body orgasms. They're open to having their nipples stimulated. You know, they're moving into more orgasmic expansion. They lag the feminine, but they're catching up, which is great too. 

 

So that's how I ended up kind of learning how to become orgasmic. And then we were having such good sex. We wanted to have sex with other people. And so we opened our marriage and we just started experimenting and we've had all different flavors of that throughout the years. We've had everything from, you know, kind of like sex party or swinging kinds of things to kitchen table poly. I've had lovers who've been in our life for like nine years. My current partner is five, almost five years with us. And so because of that, I've also been able to have over a thousand threesomes and the types of threesomes that I'm with the same partner over and over and over. So like tracking what makes you get really good over time at having, you know, multiple partnered pleasures, I'm being pleasured simultaneously by multiple people. So that's been a really fun thing as well. 

 

And then I just started like any, like you did Nadège, any of us, you know, sex experts, sexologists, what have you, I just started focusing. My interest area was orgasm. And my brand, if you will, of techniques that I teach. So I've written 34 books and programs now, and I have three pillars that I really focus on. 

 

One is pleasuring techniques and skills and being massively multi-orgasmic, orgasmic cross-training, orgasmic growth and expansion for all bodies. And then the second is bedroom communication skills. And that's very much a kind of like a stair step, where you start with the fundamentals and then you add skills and you build your skills. And then that really… you can't really do the pleasure stuff unless you've got the communication.

 

Nadège: Yep.

 

And then probably because of my age, I also do a lot of intimate wellness. So of course STI testing is… I spend a lot of time teaching people my strategies for testing, and my perspectives and approach to managing STIs, because I am the opposite of cavalier about STIs. I don't want any. I have herpes and it has plagued me my whole life and people are very cavalier with things and I don't want any of them.

 

So that, but also sexual regenerative therapies that reverse the atrophy of the genital structures and allow you to really keep… my Yoni is juicier now in my sixties than it's ever been in my life. It's never been more lush. I call it the hanging gardens of Babylon. It's just this like rich, juicy, luscious, and gorge, beautiful textures. The skin is so just fluffy and ripe and everything. My clitoris is really meaty and activated. My clit shaft is incredible. My lady boners are incredible. My vaginal sensation, the activation I've done of my cavern, my G-spot, anal gas, everything is so unbelievably off the hook delicious because I'm so healthy. 

 

And so a lot of the intimate wellness and really helping men as well. One of my areas of expertise is reversing atrophy and increasing overall penile volume, firmness, erectile function, blood flow, so that men have just the most gorgeous penises. I mean, you look at these penises of the men who are doing the things I'm teaching, the nitric oxide supplementation, the penis pumping, the Gaines Wave treatments, you know, the things that really make your penis drop dead gorgeous. And they have more sensation, more pleasure, more ejaculatory choice. You know, they're just, there are some real, you know, I'm a sexual biohacker. 

 

Nadège: Yes you are.

 

Susan: And there are some of us out there that are having, you know, that we just have… we're like Olympic level pleasure people. And you can't do that if your body isn't strong and resilient and activated. 

 

Nadège: Absolutely. Well, one of the things you even gave me was your flow supplement that I've been taking. And it's incredible. And it's so funny because my lover right now is a total nerd biohacker. And I told him I was interviewing you today. And then he looked at flow. He took the supplement and he was looking at all the ingredients and he was like, this is damn good. And it was so cute because I already knew. I'm like, Susan made this. You're not going to be able to tell me, you know, that this isn't the top quality stuff.

 

But it was so cute. And he was breaking down actually every piece of your supplement and how it all works together. And it was so cool to hear that. But absolutely, you're an expert in biohacking. And one of the things I really wanted to get into with you today was this piece on vitality. And the idea that sex is not going to... I have so many people who come to me because they say I'm old or I'm older. And it's funny because I have people who are like 30. 

 

Susan: And they're like 43. 

 

Nadège: Yeah. And they're like, I'm old. And I'm like, hush, hush, child. But, you know, all of these people coming and saying, I am old and now sex, that means this about sex. And so one thing, actually, before we even dive into the vitality piece, why do you think old has become this slur in bed or is connected to this outdated idea that is not true at all, that sex is going to decline?

 

Susan: It controls women and keeps white men in power to age women out of their sexuality. You know, a lot of religious cults are pedophilic as we have seen in our country. They want… they're getting rid of age restrictions on marrying now and taking away women's bodily autonomy and when they can keep you dumb, barefoot and pregnant, they can control you. When they focus on, you know, youth, and everybody wants to have sex with 15 year old or a 20 year old or a 25 year old, what have you, they get you before you learn anything and before you get on your own feet and you get an education and then you make your own money so you don't have to be in the cult, making more babies for the cult. And so the focus is on capturing the youth. And so that's what's idolized to get women to be subjugated in the culture. 

 

And if we heralded the sexiness of 40, 50, 60, 70 year old, even 80 year old women… what's so interesting is that if you look at an 80 year old woman who's kept herself in good shape, eaten well, exercised, gotten her good sleep and had good sex her whole life, because when you extend your sex span, you actually extend your health span and your happiness span. And the longer… every 10 years you continue to have intimate pleasure, you add two years to your life. 

 

Now those are men's studies because of course there's no women's studies, but we can understand that the hormone cascade, the neurotransmitters, the oxytocin production, the improvement of natural killer cells, and increased quality of the immune function, the vascular, you know, experience of having orgasmic pleasure, the nervous system rebooting, you know, there's literally 400 facts, factors of the benefits of sex, they're going to keep you younger. 

 

And what our culture wants to do is move midlife and older women, you know, menopausal, postmenopausal women… wants to shunt us off to be grandmothers to raise the kids for the tribe. They want us to just be bearing babies and raising more kids for the cult. And so it's a… it's an enslavement. It's one of the prongs, one of the tenants, of the female enslavement strategy.

 

Nadège: Wow. I mean, I agree with every word and I love how you put it. Cause I do research on this extensively and sometimes I'll read things and I'll be like, how do I explain what I know to people? And I also love again, as an elder, you're explaining this because it also hits different when someone who has been around the block sexually and lived the woman experience turns around and says, Hey, I have been married. I have kids. And this part of this system is a scam. 

 

Susan: It's a pressure. 

 

Nadège: Keep an eye out. And turning back now to the vitality piece, because you're a biohacker, you are prolific with the biohacking. And so what is one thing that you would recommend that helps people with their sex life as they age. And we can even split this up because I know you said you're an expert with men and erectile function. So we can start there and then maybe go back to women or anything you might know about queer or trans people as well, because everyone listening, Susan is the most inclusive, open hearted, wonderful woman, and she wants to teach you. And even if the research isn't there, she knows something that'll help you. But anyway, what advice would you give? And we can start with erectile function.

 

Susan: Yeah. I am whatever I can do to be the most inclusive possible is what I am. And I'm constantly upping the game on that. You know, my father was a gay man.

 

Nadège: I didn't know that. 

 

Susan: So I grew up being used to being in a gay and lesbian world. My parents had a mixed, you know, mixed color of people at their parties as I grew up and their friends were interracially married in the sixties, you know? So I grew up in a very progressive minded household. Both my mother and my father were, and my mother was a really strong feminist who imbued me with a belief in myself and my own decision-making and my own sovereignty. 

 

And actually I have a new word for it I want to give you too. I liked the word sovereign until I realized that I liked the word agentic better. This is my latest word that I'm using. And agentic means, just like agentic AI, it grows and learns from being in its process. Literally. That's what it is. Agentic AI, it gets smarter. That's what we do. We're agentic and growing from our process. And it also means agency. And sovereignty is the word I've been using. And sovereignty feels like I'm the queen and everyone else… and I'm kind of above and everyone else is separate. Agentic means I have agency over myself. You have agency over yourself. We all have agency over ourselves. It harks more to me about breaking through those patriarchal structures.

 

And I don't believe we should be moving to a matriarchal structure. I think we should be moving to a structure of partnership. My husband and I, my husband of 34 years and I, we have an incredible partnership. We're incredible parents. We're incredible. We run our businesses together and we are fantastic lovers and life mates because we just divide and conquer with the talents that we have. We just… everything is team sweetie, hashtag team sweetie. And so we're in it for partnership, not for… I'm as masculine as I am feminine. And I like to embody all of that. My agency is that I am everything. All of it is within me. 

 

And I love… and I also went from being more of a feminine response through the cultural mores of seeing how femininity was depicted sexually and then gaining confidence and skills and then becoming more confident, to kind of like run the bedroom game. So you'd think about that as like dominance and submission, but it's not really that either. And then I moved into being more switchy and just being able to do it all. And then I realized what I actually ended up in is a flow state of being in present response to whatever the dynamic is in the moment. So it might express itself as something we would have thought about as traditionally masculine, but then the next second I could be just the softest little cuddliest thing and receive And I like that moving into these echelons. That's what I was looking at where are we going? So agentic, flow state, these are some of the places that I live right now. And they're really nice. And I don't think you can get to those till you have a lifetime of learning that moves you into this learning and agency and all of that stuff. So there's some new words for your consideration if you hadn't been thinking about them.

 

Nadège: I love that. And it also kind of shows again, what young people sometimes don't get is an exciting glimpse into a future that's hot and sexy and you're learning and you're wise. And so I also love this because it rewrites that awful script that at some point you just start dying while you're already alive.

 

Susan: Yeah. You just give up. I know. And so here's how to keep your genitals juicy and throbbing with orgasmic intensity. Let's just go with Yoni and Lingam because they're nice words. Yoni for the female genital structures because it's very spiritual. And I think the spiritual and the emotional, as well as the, you know, the physical is all one entity. And then the lingam for the male member I think is really nice too.

 

And the number one foundation is blood flow. As you age, your vascular system doesn't pump the blood as well. And your genitals are a balloon. They're a sponge. They blow up with blood flow that creates that erectile tissue. The spongy tissue in the lingam and the yoni is about the same amount. So if you've seen a penis go from flaccid to fully erect and you get the sense of that growth, which is impressive, then you can think, oh, okay, my yoni can do that too. It's got that same amount of erectile tissue. And so the way that it gets its erection, whether you're talking about our lady boner or our, you know, male boner, you're really looking at blood flow.

 

And that has to… you start to begin to climb the arousal ladder. You're kissing, you maybe you have some breast and nipple play, you have some full body touch. And you start to get turned on, you start to get relaxed, so your arousal can begin to build and your vascular system has to squeeze the blood into your pelvic bowl to blow those sponges to fill those sponges up, to blow up those balloons so they have more surface area so that when they're touched, the corpuscles, the nerve endings, the mechanoreceptors, all those cells and nervous system signaling devices of the human body can send the message to your biggest sex organ, your brain, that it feels good. And it feels better when it's plump and full of blood than when it's flaccid and not erect. 

 

And so once you get the blood flow into the pelvic bowl, it can run into the penis. It seeps into the vulvovaginal structures. There's three tubes in the penis that fill with blood. A corpus, two corpus cavernosum and a corpus spongiosum. The same three erectile tissues are in the yoni. There's the clitoral structure, which is arms, legs, body, shaft, glands, etc. There's the urethral structure, which we call the Gspot. It's a long spongy tube. And there's the perineal structure on the floor of the vagina between the vagina and the rectum. And those three things surround the vaginal pocket. It's a flat thing. It's not an inside out penis. It's not a tube. It's a flat pocket till you put something in there. 

 

And that entire pocket, the cavern that's in there all around, not just the vaginal lining, but what's beyond it, inside your pelvic bowl, all of that has tissue that gets engorged too. So if you want to get really good orgasms from penetration, you want to activate all that internal tissue as well. So internal, external, but the three erectile tissues of the female body, they seep it, they're slow. So the female arousal ladder is a much slower ladder with a heavy lift at the bottom, steps are big at the bottom. And then it's like an escalator at the top. Once we get turned on, we can just fuck for days, come for days. You know, we're really good at having that. 

 

And if men move from having ejaculatory orgasms into male, multiple orgasms and full body energy orgasms, then they have the ability to also be that orgasmic. So they're getting there. They just don't know yet. 

 

And so blood flow is the most important thing for pleasure and it… our nitric oxide wanes as we age, up when we're 40, 50 years old, midlife, we have half what we had in our twenties and our soils are nitrogen depleted. So we're not getting the nitrates that turn to nitrites that turn to nitric oxide to squeeze the blood into the pelvic bowl. And a lot of us use antibacterial mouthwashes, which kill off the bacterial process that does the transformer. And a lot of us have shitty diets and we take acid blockers and proton pump inhibitors and things like that, which we lose the stomach acid, which does the second half of the process. So we don't have… we can't get the blood flow into our genitals. So we have sensation loss, labial laxity, vaginal laxity. And then you add in the fact that without estrogen, we don't… our tissues and collagen, essentially, our tissues and vitamin C and silica and zinc, our tissues start to shrink. And so the vaginal lining thins. And then if you think about it, if it thins and you think about it, like it's a sponge, it holds fluid. The vagina is not a gland. It doesn't self lubricate. The blood plasma seeps into the pelvic bowl, seeps through the vaginal lining to get you, to make you wet. Your lubrication comes from blood flow. 

 

So blood flow… so you add the estrogen back in, and you add the nitric oxide supplementation, and between the two, you get the blood flow and you get the wet genital lubrication and the female ejaculation and the big clit erection and the nice firm cock with the veins popping and straining it, you know, at its skin and, you know, aliveness, and you know, you got your maniconda back.

 

So blood flow is the number one thing at the base of the stack for everybody. And I think that's the first thing. And then from there, it's really… For sexual biohacking, it's more like activation; using it and really stimulating the tissue so that you're really getting the super… the information superhighway from the genitals to the brain so that every place you touch, whether you're just running your finger down the inner labia along the little frilly dark edge, or, you know, you're playing so gently with the little vaginal sphincter muscle at the opening to the vagina, or you're, you know, stroking the clitoral shaft from the pubic bone down to the glands like you pet a little kitty cat's nose from the… you know how you pet a kitty cat on the bridge of its nose? 

 

Nadège: Yeah. 

 

Susan: And the kitty cat loves that little touch. Your clit shaft loves to be stroked like a kitty cat, never against the fur, you know, stroke from the top down, lift up, stroking, kneading, doing little kitty cat hands. 

 

Nadège: That's such good visceral advice. I can imagine all of it. I love. And one thing I hear a lot from people too is like, oh, well, I haven't had sex in 10 years, five years, or maybe it's even one year. But people who are just like, what do I do if I'm too intimidated? How do I get back in the game? And especially for folks who might be older and dealing with the fact that your body is aging and that physicality, what would you say to people of this is how you get back in the game and just start? Because like you said, action is one of the things and activation is one of the things that we need.

 

Susan: Masturbate every day as much as possible. Just masturbate all the time. And have sex means they haven't been penetrated because everybody's so intercourse focused. But sex is all the things, it's oral, manual, intercourse, anal course, full body touch, kissing throatgasms. you know, breast pleasuring, nipplegasms, everything, coregasms, footgasms. It's so many things. 

 

And if you think about the different kinds of orgasms, there's three types. There's locations to touch, which I kind of just mentioned. There's techniques to use, whether that's things like the expanded orgasm practice that I carry on the lineage for, which I can talk to you about. So there's expanded orgasm. There'd be like female ejaculation would be more of a techniques focused if you do it right, not like porn, which is just awful. And then there's objects of desire, and objects of desire can be anything. It’s latex, floggers, you know, candle wax, sensation play, electrostim, you know, but it can be sex toys. I just had a date with my boyfriend because I'm really focused on haptics and teledildonics. I'm focused on remote pleasuring for couples.

 

And we were using the Kiiroo Keon device, which is this automatic stroker that you can put a couple of different things into to have different penile experiences. You can put the power shot in there. It's a vibrating stroker, or you can put… Their product is called field stars, but they're basically like fleshlights, but the next generation, they feel so many… you can stroke your whole penis in kind of like a vagina sleeve. 

 

While at the same time, and we were lying together, but we also do it separately. I was using the pearl three wand inside my vaginal pocket. And I have really fallen in love with that thing. And I have activated my vagina to a whole new level. Now when I'm getting turned on, I can feel this ring of tissue around my vaginal opening that was never there before because I've been activating it so much with that particular product. And then I use their Pro Wand on the outside to plump up my outer labia, my inner labia, my mons, my clitoral shaft, clitoral tip, perineal area, sweet cheeks, all the externality of pleasure. And it's synchronized and he has the app and he runs the app and he takes us on a journey. He basically strokes my vagina with what's in there and it's synced to the wand that's stimulating the external. So there's no cacophony. He can take me up, take me down, take me up, take me down. When it's stroking the end of his penis, it's actually stimulating the deep space of my vaginal pocket. And when he does long strokes, I feel it in my whole vagina. And when he takes me on this orgasmic ride, I'm coming and coming and coming and coming the whole time. Just a whole series… I'm riding one long, orgasm that has many, many peaks and rests. That's what it is. And they get even better and more intense as we do it. And it's a totally different thing than I've ever experienced with any sex technique, any penis, any toy, anything.

 

It's just so incredible to feel simultaneous pleasure and be side by side and we lay there and we make out and he gives me nipplegasms at the same time. He can literally just rest that stroker and he can run that app with his thumb, have a nipple on his other thumb, make out with me while I'm coming while he's kissing me. It's incredible. 

 

And we have remote sex that way too because I travel a lot. I'm basically on an international speaking tour. I'm here in Australia. I'm coming back to LA. Then I'm going to Europe to speak over many months. I mean, my career is taking off and he can't always go with me. One of my men usually goes with me, if not both, but they can't always be with me. And so we have these hot, remote, sex dates together. One of the things we're about to do is, Tim and Carl and I are going to have a threesome. We're going to have a remote threesome. 

 

So that's where we're going with all this. So that orgasmic stimulation of all the tissue is sexual biohacking. And so is using the penis pump I recommend for growing your penis, using the vulva pump to reverse ozempic vulva and weight loss or flaccidity from lack of use, getting it all back and innervated and getting the capillaries growing back into the new growing tissue and then getting the nerves tracking to the capillaries because there's blood supply so they can send the signals to your brain. 

 

What you're doing is you're basically just rehabbing tissue. I've had ah PRP and my own stem cells injected into my clitoral structures, into my G-spot. You know, I've just done a lot of different things because, and of course I get GAINSwave, you know, I'm a spokesperson for them. And I'm a spokesperson for them because it's the one technology… It's an acoustic wave technology. You run it along the volvo vaginal system. You run it along the penis and buried shaft of the penis, and it stimulates new tissue growth. You do a series of six treatments, and it stimulates new tissue growth so that you get the capillaries, get the veins, get the nerves in there, and then everything gets just big and plump and turned on and juicy and operating again.

 

Nadège: I love that. And there's so many little hacks in there too. One is always stay curious. Hearing the evolution of your sex life, Susan, as someone who currently is dating and still young in my journey. There are so many things that I'm still learning. And then the idea of like, oh my God, maybe someday my two husbands will have a threesome with me virtually. So one, curiosity, always stay curious. Two, I love how you said when I'm like, what do people do if they feel stuck? Masturbate more. And that is… it's like, we all have a body, start slow. But that's true. We forget because we're in a society that's so focused on finding your other half, which is so silly because everyone is whole and perfect, but that we can also start with ourselves, you have access to your own body and your own pleasure at any time. And so you can just even on your own solo journey, get unstuck. 

 

And as we start winding down this incredible interview, I'm like, I've so… there's so many more things that we could dive into. And we have to have you back at some point because the orgasm technique you were talking about, I'm like, okay, we need to talk about that.

 

Susan: Expanded orgasms.

 

Nadège: Yeah, and all your lineages. But one question I have as we start to wind down is thinking of just all… like one thing you mentioned at the top of the episode, which is so good is it's a myth that at different ages, we have different struggles. All these struggles are universal. And so regardless of what someone's age is, what is some of your just kind of best sex advice to kind of send people off with?

 

Susan: Well, it… Can I answer that question a little bit different?

 

Nadège: Yeah.

 

Susan: You tell me if you want me to answer that, because here was what I was thinking. That conversation naturally led me to one of the things that the 20, 30s around my… that my daughter's friends who came and they spent hours talking to me and I had them do an ask me anything. I wanted to tell you what they were, because I was telling you earlier that what I noticed was, and I think this answers that question, what I noticed was that the questions that they asked in their 20s and 30s were the same questions that people are asking me in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. So it doesn't really change, and it's because of our lack of sexual literacy in our culture. You know, I don't know if you know this, Nadège, I'm doing a documentary. I think you do know. 

 

Nadège: I do, yes. I can't wait for your documentary because your life is so inspiring and people are going to… it's going to heal so many hoes, but go on.

 

Susan: No kidding. The film is called Behind Closed Doors. That's the provisional title because a documentary wants to name itself once it's done. But Behind Closed Doors is really about how people like you and I are constantly shadow banned and censored. We can't advertise our books and programs. We don't have access to exposure on anything but podcasts. And currently podcasts are still an uncensored medium and they're the only place we can go to get the detail, because everything else is either porn or movies and television, which are basically derivative of porn, because all of that is male gaze only. It is not for the feminine arousal patterns, body needs, etc. 

 

And so everything is intercourse focused because of the religious repression of all sex is only intercourse. And, you know, really that's just procreation. They don't even teach, but we don't teach pleasuring skills. We just teach fear-based stuff. And so the thing that Behind Closed Doors is really trying to explain is that the thing I talked about earlier, the sex ban, that sexual oppression, lack of knowledge is what creates fear and gets… and has people have not any… not enough information to know how to have a sex life that keeps getting better as you age and leads you to have an extended health span and happiness span. 

 

So people, they stop having sex, like the woman who hasn't had sex for a year or hasn't had a partner in 10 years or what have you. Why isn't she masturbating? Because we don't teach people how to masturbate. She doesn't even think about that as sex. And this was… so this is what was interesting. The questions that the 20s, 30s asked me, number one was, I have given up my vibrator because I heard that it's going to make me not be able to have sex with my partner or orgasm with my partner. And I'm like, oh God, I got to unwind this whole thing that is ludicrous. And you know, we went into the whole, here's how it works. This is why it makes you better. This is why it makes you have better orgasms. This is what makes it easier to have orgasms, get different kinds of orgasms, more orgasms with your partner, without them, and bring the toys when you're playing with your partners. Let's get away from this old repressed mentality that there's something wrong with me if you can… no you're giving me orgasms and I'm having these kinds of orgasms. I'm having 20 kinds of orgasms. I want to have all the gasms, not just the dick gasm. I want to have all the gasms, and using these things made me come from intercourse with a penis without the toys. So I got them to understand they should go dig those things out and start using them every day if they can. And because the more you use it, the better you get, the better you get, the more it feels, the better it feels good… It's just a positive. It's the upward pleasure spiral.

 

Second thing they asked was, how do I begin a new relationship and set the scene, the ground rules, the boundaries, the requests, the communication, the mindset, so that our sex life gets better and better instead of getting worse and worse and we break up.

 

The other one was, how do I, and a part of it was not just in bed, but the relational dynamics. How do I have the kind of relational dynamics that support, that are the foundation for a hot sex life? 

 

So I answered those questions. You're going to have to have me back so that I can answer them.

 

Nadège: I know. I'm literally like everyone listening is going to be like, wait, Susan, what are the secrets? And we're going to have to have her back. Because yeah, those are such good questions.

 

Susan: We could do a live sometime or anything you want too. And then the third one was, and this is very, very common. Oh my God. You’re going to be like, Oh God. Yes. And it was, how do I get a woman that I'm making love to, to believe that I've, that I think she's beautiful, luscious, and delicious, and have her surrender and open to me and trust how much I want her and love every part of her. And she's beautiful to me, and let her be willing to try new things and not just use this kind of like one way and lights off and no, you can't go down on me and I'm fat or whatever. How do I become her masculine sexual leader and open her to her pleasure? That's how I would reframe that, right? 

 

Nadège: Yeah, absolutely. 

 

Susan: And then the last one was, our community is very small and we're all friends and we don't have sex with each other. And then now there's no nobody to fuck because we're all friends and we don't want to ruin the community that we have by breaking up and losing our precious members. And so, of course, my advice was to start out as research partners and have, you know, short dates and expand your pleasure, you know, and one offs with each other and don't expect it to be your entire relationship and, you know, that kind of, and they were like, that was a little much for them.

 

But hey, if they don't even know it's available to them, if they've never even heard the idea… I come from San Francisco and San Diego, where we have thriving, conscious pleasure communities of friends who've spent decades having different experiences with each other and continuing to be friends. They can have that.

 

Nadège: Anybody can have that. 

 

Susan: They literally didn't know they could have that. And so one of the women said to me, yeah, not everybody's going to do that here, but I have somebody in mind I could do that with in my extended group here in town. And I'm like that… and that's how it starts. 

 

Nadège: Yep. Planting the seeds of orgasm. 

 

Susan: Exactly. Just practice, you know, use gloves, have a 15 minute limit, you know, whatever. 

 

Nadège: Yeah, absolutely. And if you don't try, you'll never know. And again, people really underestimate how long conscious, and I don't like the word casual, but just for the sake of this, conscious, casual, sexual relationships, how long they can go on and how beautiful they can be. And ah Susan, we are going to definitely need to have you back. But before then, we always close out each episode with three rapid fire questions. So can I ask you your three rapid fire questions? 

 

Susan: Please do.

 

Nadège: All right. Question number one is what is the best sex advice you have ever received? 

 

Susan: Oh, probably just permission. I think permission to own my pleasure and to have what I want. So permission and encouragement is the advice, I think. And then the other one was probably my mentor, Dr. Patty Taylor, who said… I called her one day when I was just beginning the expanded orgasm practice with Tim decades ago, 25 years ago now, we've been doing it every week for decades. Girl, I can… 

 

Nadège: I need to bring my lover over and be like, Hey honey, we're going to have a science experiment sex date with Susan and her husband. 

 

Susan: Yeah, we’ll give you a demo and he can do you too. I mean, it's very, very safe. It's just a… it's a manual massage. It's a very, very safe way to expand your orgasmic capacity.

 

I called her because I was really coming so much. And I was like, I called her and I said, Patty, I feel like what I am doing is I'm standing on the precipice of this rock ledge that is going out into space. And if I step off, I may never come back. I'm coming so long and so hard and I'm feeling a palpable connection to consciousness, to source. What do I do? And she said, step off, go out there. You'll come back. You might have what we would call fuck brain, you know, where you come so much, so hard for so long that it takes you like a while to recover from it. But she said, step off. And I did. And that's when I untethered into space, into orgasmic space, and named myself the orgasmonaut. That's where it came from. 

 

Nadège: Oh my God. I love that. So your next rapid fire question, now, which is going to be a fun one because the first question you answered epically. So this question is, what is now the worst sex advice you've ever received?

 

Susan: Well, probably… I don't know. I don't think I've received bad sex advice. I think I've just had bad lovers do shitty things to me. More like that. So for me personally, because I've always been a little bit of an iconoclast, I've carved my own pathway because of the confidence my mother gave me. So I just haven't listened to stupid advice. 

 

Nadège: But I love it. 

 

Susan: But I’ve been a victim of other people's stupid advice.

 

Nadège: Well, I love that. Amazing. Well, then our final rapid fire question is, what do you hope will change about the way people in and the world view sex in the years to come?

 

Susan: Yeah, I hope that people will realize that sex is and I hope to do this through my documentary, at least to hit as many, you know, be in front of as many people as possible to make people realize that they've been living in a repressed world of denied pleasure that is very capitalistic, because if you're just lying in bed having orgasms, you're not consuming, streaming, and you're not shopping on Amazon and you're not scrolling Instagram, you're coming.

 

And that all sex is learned skills. You need to learn how to be a good lover. Literally, my brand is Better Lover. Be a better lover. Everything I do is to teach people how to have more pleasure and I want them to realize, oh my God, I've been caught in the system that's keeping me small, sick, and attention deficit to someone else's agenda. And I need to claw this fourth factor of longevity back and live a longer, healthier, happier life. Cause I've got an aura ring and I've tracked my sleep score and I'm eating my vegetables and I'm going to the gym. But I'm not having hot sex and orgasms near enough. I want to learn how, I'm going to get a sex life bucket list. I'm going to start to decide what I want to learn first, second, third. I'm going to get some partners. I'm going to practice. I'm going to grow. I'm going to expand. I'm going to come better. I'm just going to change the trajectory of my life from your agenda to my pleasure agenda.

 

Nadège: Hell yeah. Everybody listening, I want you to start thinking about your pleasure agenda. And so Susan, everyone is obsessed with you now. So where can people find you? How can they get more of you? What do you have going on that they should know about? Let everyone know. And we're also going to include everything in show notes, folks. So don't you worry. 

 

Susan: Okay. Would it be okay with you if I gave everybody a free bottle of my Flow Nitric Oxide Booster? 

 

Nadège: Oh my God. I think people would literally go ham and then have orgasms. 

 

Susan: Yay. Right. It gives you a better clit boner and dick boner. 

 

Nadège: It does. Hey, I was using it last night.

 

Susan. Good! Yeah, and let me know when you need me to send you more bottles. I'll just send you a big shipment. Getflowfree… Getflowfree.com. I think is what it is. Getflowfree.com. Is that right? And then… Tim's going to check because he's sitting here. And then the second place to find me is betterlover.com. Sign up for my newsletter. You get two a week and it teaches you all these kinds of things. And if you have a question for me, you can reply to that Better Lover email. And instead of going to my customer care team, it goes to my personal inbox and I will reply to you. What makes me good is your questions. So yeah, getflowfree.com is it and betterlover.com is the email newsletter. 

 

And then my Instagram is so cute. I don't do it myself because it's very technical. There's a lot of video clips and stuff that have to go on it. So Anja takes all my content and puts it on there for me. And every morning when I go on, I'm like, Oh my God, that's so good. Look what she picked. Oh, I love that thing. Oh, this is a great clip. I love it so much. So that is little video clips of sexy sex ed stuff across all three of my pillars at my name which is Susan Bratton all one word s-u-s-a-n-b-r-a-t-t-o-n and that's on instagram.

 

Nadège: Oh, I love… Susan, you are such an icon, thank you so much for being with us today.

 

Susan: Thank you so much. It was… ah I knew that I was going to have a great time because you're so intelligent, which, you know, I'm a sapiosexual. When all is said and done, I'm a sapiosexual. Smarts make me hot. And that is my very favorite thing about you is your brilliance. Literally when I started this show talking about how one of the joys of my life is watching the unfoldment of Nadège, I mean, I feel in a way like you're one of my daughters. I love- 

 

Nadège: I felt that when I met you. I felt that. Yeah. 

 

Susan: Yes. You're my baby and I love you growing and expanding and you're so bright and ah, it's just delicious. So thank you.

 

Nadège: Oh, thank you. And to everybody listening, that is it for this week's episode of Pleasure Science. Join us next week and I will be talking with you guys about my journey from painful sex to powerful orgasms. So we're going to keep that orgasmic flow going. And this episode that I'm releasing next week, everybody is one of the most vulnerable and open episodes I've ever done. And I'm really proud to share it, because it's just going to help so many people to hear this story. 

 

But in the meantime, you can come and say hi to me at Instagram and TikTok at Pleasure Science. I love hearing from you guys. And if this episode made your heart or your hips move, please subscribe to the Pleasure Science Podcast and leave us a review so we can give you more of what you want, because just like Susan said, how she responds to people's emails in her newsletter, I am reading every comment that you guys send to me because I want to give you guys what you want. 

 

And another way you can tell me what you like is by commenting on our YouTube channel. And if you're not watching the YouTube show, please hop over because Susan looks so hot and I look so hot and you should just check us out. 

 

Susan: And I want to say about those reviews, give Nadège a five-star review wherever you can, because that's what helps her get more people listening to her show. It's more important than you think, those reviews. It's really like everything is those reviews. So give the gift of your love to Nadège. Give her a review, please.

 

Nadège: Thank you, and it's true because it shows people that you care about this type of information, and this information is censored. And finally, if this episode resonated with you, then the next step on your journey of sexual empowerment is Voicing Your Desires. And I want everyone out there to know, talking about sex protects what you love most about your connection. And when you ask for what you want and you're able to share feedback without starting a fight, sex stops feeling like guesswork and it starts feeling natural. And this is exactly what Voice Your Desires, my guided video journey, helps you to do. And it has already helped thousands of others. 

 

And because you are listening to the Pleasure Science Podcast, you get 10% off with the gift code pleasuresciencepod. So go to pleasurescience.com or just click the show notes and you can go ahead and start streaming Voice Your Desires right now.

 

Thank you everybody for joining us this week. And before we go, I want you all to think of one thing that you have been craving to do. Maybe it's eating your favorite food or reading that spicy fantasy book, or maybe it's dancing naked in your bedroom. And I dare you to go experience that pleasure in the next 24 hours. 

 

Farewell for now, and I'll see you next week.

 

This podcast is a Pleasure Science production hosted by me, Nadège, your resident sex scholar. The Pleasure Science Podcast is produced by Laura Moore and edited by Camille Furman-Collot.

 

Our music is by Octosound and is licensed under the Pixabay content license. To find out more about Pleasure Science and to sign up for our online courses, please visit www.pleasurescience.com.